| |
| |
|
Mahavir Information |
| ||||||||
|
When Sorrow Is Too Great to Be Borne Alone, Support Groups Reach Out
Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to understand the emotional roller coaster we were on. So the night of the first support meeting, we drove 30 miles to the church where the meeting was held. The room we walked into had a single row of fold-up chairs arranged in a circle, refreshments on a table, and a friendly woman welcomed us. We had arrived early; all of the seats were empty. After I glanced at my husband, to make sure he had not turned around and walked out, we sat down quietly on the seats closest to us and to the door. Shortly after we arrived, a few other people wandered in and took seats also. We nodded at them nervously, wondering if their stories were like ours, wondering if they had nightmares as bad as we did. And then, the meeting began. The facilitator spoke. She welcomed us all, stated that everyone in the room had lost a loved one, and asked us to introduce ourselves. One by one, the people present stated their names and briefly told us about why they were there. Some of them shed tears as they talked. As each one spoke, my mind was trying to take in a situation outside of my experience. How could this be? We thought we were the only ones in the world who were grieving. We were not alone, after all! For the next couple hours, we talked - and listened. We discovered that some of our feelings matched the feelings of others there. Perhaps we were not abnormal, after all! Best of all, though, when we said Arlyn's name, and when we said the word suicide, no one blinked an eye! No one got up and walked out, no one replied by saying, Get over it! She's gone! And no one even hinted that it was our fault. During the meeting, some of us cried. No one tried to stop us. During the meeting, some of us talked about funerals, and no one squirmed. It was amazing. We were the only ones in the group who had come because of the death of a daughter, and we were the only ones mourning a suicide death, but even then, the connection we felt with others was strong. We were not alone. By the time we left the meeting, I felt emotionally drained, but that was exactly what I had needed. A safe place to talk, to vent, to connect. A place where I could find someone to walk with me. That's what a support group is: a safe place. It may be an AA group for those who struggle with alcohol, an abuse group for those who have been victimized by abusers, a group for people addicted to gambling, or a grief group for those who are trying to survive the loss of a loved one by death. It's a place to go to so you can connect with others who have almost walked in your shoes. Some support groups are run by professionals. They generally have a program to follow, materials to take home with information, and they are led by people with college degrees. They sometimes encourage people to set goals, and they sometimes offer therapy. Other support groups are lead by those who have no official certification, but whose experience may teach them more about the common issue than anything they could read about in books. I have participated in both types of support groups, and I find value in both. They meet different needs in different ways. I personally think the value of peer-lead support groups are greatly undervalued, however. When people sit in a circle and share their stories and hearts with others who will not pass judgement on them, others who truly do know how they feel, a huge burden is often lifted from their shoulders. Lifting that emotional burden seems to be the key to survival, the key to living life again - as opposed to being pulled down into deep depression and not finding the strength to come back up. The best thing about peer lead support groups is that they are free! The worst thing about them is that there are not enough of them around. Quote of the day: When it seems that our sorrow is too great to be borne, let us think of the great family of the heavy-hearted into which our grief has given us entrance, and inevitably, we will feel about us their arms, their sympathy, their understanding. - Helen Keller By Karyl Chastain Beal Mission in life before Arlyn's death was teaching children. Now, it's teaching those left behind after suicide to survive and live again. It's also educating the public about suicide and suicide grief. Beal is a certified thanatologist via the Association on Death Education and Counseling. Owner if several websites devoted to suicide support and education. Has published writings in Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul, the Journal for the National Alliance on Mentally Ill, Seventeen Magazine and various newspapers. Arlyn's memorial website - http://virtual-memorials.com/servlet/ViewMemorials?memid=7461&pageno=1 Parents of Suicides - http://parentsofsuicide.com Grieving Parents - http://grieving-parents.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Acne - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How Long Does It Take to Mend a Broken Heart? Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should Be Over You. He sings, How long does it take to mend a broken heart? After the heartache and tears, lonely and hurting, one night stands and drinking ain't working, and missing you has near killed me a time or two, then after that I should be over you. Whats It All About? For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence - and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, 'far from perfect' way of life. And that's okay? until something major happens to rock the boat. Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. Afraid Of Dying? Afraid Of Living! Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were "afraid of their own immortality. In the Blink of an Eye Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can see the sky." Sally Reed, cancer survivorThirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. How to Deal with Suicide and Euthenasia The following is a report that indicates how you might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very complex issue, and it might be better to have a professional deal with this issue if it comes up, but if this is very difficult to attain, this guide is a very good alternative to follow if you have no other solution to the problem. One Womans Way of Dealing With Grief All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes about the task of grieving in our own distinct way. How To Write A Eulogy Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given the opportunity to celebrate a loved one's life in the individual way that made your friend unique. Physiological Consequences of Carrying Emotional Trauma Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma in our bodies, and therefore in our energy fields, do we ever really stop to question the impact that it is having on our overall health? If you are like most individuals you probably just want to forget its even there. The thought of revisiting it probably just makes you feel sick. The Twists and Turns of Life When I was born in 1962 I thought life was good. I had two parents, a twin sister, and an older brother. You Can Help A Grieving Heart Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. Then and Now Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death and grief were popular subjects for poems, songs and stories. Grieving was considered a natural and acceptable part of the culture. How to Deal with Suffering Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for those who are most concerned about this topic.QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING1- If there is a loving God, why do so many Christians and good people have to suffer so much whereas others don't? What about natural disasters?2- In suffering, why are some people so sensitive, and others not, over the same event? Give examples. Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states through which the dying patient goes. Silent Tears - from a Norwegian Hospital Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her. You Have to Show Up: On Small Miracles (Okay, maybe not so small) I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.That sounds terrible, I know. The Lesson of a Mothers Death Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 - May 25, 2005The Passing of the TorchShe lies in peaceful repose on her back with her hands, one atop the other, gently resting on her tummy. Those hands that loved to play the piano, taught me how to make the most delicious fudge, brushed my hair, held hundreds of books, gracefully parted the air during Tai Chi practice, pounded a career of typewriters, peeled logs in preparation for their new home, produced many a midnight sewing machine creation and, most importantly, held her children close to her heart. The Valley of Sorrow or My Life as a Well Digger It felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was stunned. How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them. Am I a Mother - Tips for Handling Mother's Day After Miscarriage Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S.
|
|||||||||||||||||
| Home | Site Map Copy Right 2006 Mahavir.com |
| NISL | Herbal Acne Solutions | Promotion Factory | Web Design | Online University Degree | College & University | GtpInfo | VPayU |
